campfire anthems

i’m a bone head. last night when i got off of work i was suppose to meet a friend at my apartment to help him load up my old entertainment center (we got a new one) and take it to his place. the day was going swimmingly. i got home, dinner was prepared (and delicious), there was a young child to play with (emily picked up boone’s daughter for school since he had to go get a truck for the entertainment center)…everything was just good. once boone made it over, our friends kyle and emily came over so that kyle could help us move this massive unit. after much trial and error we finally made it out the door and down the stairs. this is where it gets good. boone wants to tie up the furniture in the truck bed, which is a very good idea considering the size and shape of the piece. there is a zip tie around the bungee cords so i pull out my handy pocket knife. as i began to slice through the plastic the blade gets stuck, and when it finally cuts through it also slide into two of my fingers. perfect! bloodied and queasy i rush to the emergency room.

i arrive. did i mention that it was a full moon last night, and all the crazies were out? well they weren’t really out, they were all just in the e.r. because of the severity of the wound, and the fact that i was actively bleeding through the home made bandage, i thought i’d be in and out in no time. i was wrong. after an hour in the emergency room waiting area, i was looked at and checking into fast track, which is a very misleading name. once checked in there i sat down and watched as this beautiful blond bombshell disgusting woman wearing see though pink velour pants walked out of one of the doctor’s rooms. apparently she felt that the entire world should see her underwear. this sighting, on top of the loss of blood almost made me lose it, but my wonderful bride lovingly had gotten me a dr. pepper, which helped calm my stomach.

after another hour in that waiting room i was finally taken into the coveted treatment room. a male nurse came in to assess the situation. he took of my bandage and thats when i noticed something terribly wrong. due the amount of bleeding i did in my kitchen sink, i thought that i cut the tops of the two fingers. wrong. i could now see that the knife blade entered one side of my middle finger, out the other and then into my ring finger. obviously a little concerned, the nurse ordered some x-rays to check for tendon damage, which was not something i was wanting to hear.

x-ray is taken, mainly just me waiting, a lot, dog bite girl, another nurse looking at my finger, more waiting, family guy on the television. ::fast forward:: i’m sitting in the suture room when my doctor comes in to fix me up. he tells me he is going to numb my hand with some sort of solution (novocaine on steroids) with an over sized needle. at this point i just want to get this all over with and go home. he slides the needle into the airy spaces between all my fingers and pumps the fluid in. i can feel my skin bubbling up with the fluid, since it needed space to fill before it made its way into my fingers. once this stuff actually took affect i felt pretty good. no pain, just tingly, like if you sat on your hand for about 3 hours. he stitched me up, more waiting, and finally left at midnight.

i have to go back tomorrow to get my bandage off, a good cleaning, check the stitches and get a new bandage. i was told that i can’t get that hand wet for 5 days and that i won’t be able to use it for 12-14 days. then, after i’m healed (12-14 days later) i can return to the hospital once again to get the suture taken out. until then, no guitar, no xbox, no left pants pocket, no fun.

it took me so long to type this all out, i’m just going to quit and wave goodbye now.