campfire anthems

no.  i’m not talking about a song by the offspring, or eggs for that matter.  it is very rare that i will discuss politics in the public eye.  in fact, i never thought i would, however, i feel like this may be an interesting topic, maybe even thought provoking.  my question is this - how can you have a government structure that is suppose to have a separation of church and state that also has all, or at least the majority, of voting precincts at churches?  for the life of me i just can’t wrap my mind around this.  question arise for me, such as 1) does being in a church give people guilt about what or who they are voting for 2) how do athiests feel about having to go to church to vote 3) is this even constitutional?

i think that if we are going to hold government voting within the walls of churches we should at least do it right.  say for instance you go to vote and your local precinct is a catholic church.  i say, instead of voting in the social hall go into the sanctuary.  you’ve now eliminated the need for voting booths.  just line everyone up in a line and they can vote in the confessional booth.  maybe if you vote at a protestant church you can get a communion wafer on your way out instead of a shiny sticker.

i know that i’m being a bit over dramatic about the situation, but i find it rather ironic the way our system works.  i’m not trying to offend anyone or change your mind, i just wanted to throw that out there as something to think about as we enter this campaign season.

how come stores that are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (like walgreens, wal-mart…) have locks on the doors?

so its been 6 months that you guys have been sitting around here at the campfire.  it seems like i just started this thing a month ago.  i figured that the 6 month mark would be a good time to share a little information about my stats, readers, and other analytical information.  so here we go.

since i started this website 6 months ago…

…5,581 people have visited me

…i have had 9,015 page views

…there have been 2,369 absolute unique visitors

…emily has sent me the most traffic refferals

…my saint michael tattoo has been the most popular search engine result

…my blog is read in all 50 states as well as the district of columbia

…i have had readers in 72 countries (out of 192 countries in the united nations….37.5% of the world if you are keeping score)

i know that is probably just mundane information to you, but i think its pretty cool.  after seeing these results, and actually thinking about them, i have set up some goals for my website for this time next year.  i want to continue to spread readership through the world and reach anyone that can read/speak english.  i also want to provide 4 original desktop wallpaper calendars each month for my readers to download for free.  i want to have high enough daily traffic to sell advertising space on my website.  finally, i would love to have more comments from people throughout the world, rather than just my close friends (thanks for commenting close friends, i appreciate you, don’t let that come across wrong) so that i can see who you guys are.

as always, thanks for reading.  if it weren’t for you all out there in interweb world, this whole thing would be useless.

this will be the last installment of my question series.  it has been really fun and i think i’ll probably pull this out again later and see if you guys have anything new for me.  so let’s get right to it.

jenna asks:

what is “quobbity assurance?”  alright.  now we are getting somewhere.  quobbity assurance is only the most sought after position at dunder mifflin scranton.  quobbity assurance is the position that one holds after many years of drug use and promiscuous sex and can no longer remember just what it is they do at work.  a quobbity assurance technician has the responsibility of wandering around the office and making crude comments to the ladies, selling random office supplies for quick cash, and eating peach cobbler on your birthday.  i wonder if it is closely related to the position of quality assurance?  probably not.  that doesn’t sound as much fun.

jamison asks:

what made you want to become a musician?   this question is something that i never really thought of before you asked james.  it all started when i was a young boy, maybe around the age of 8.  my mom bought this really old upright piano and thought it would be neat if i learned how to play it.  it seemed like a good idea at the time.  i took a  couple of years worth of piano lessons and actually got pretty good at it.  i did all the typical things that kids and pianos do.  you know, recitals, being made play when company came over, just the typical stuff.  after a while though i just really started hating it.  i must have been about 10 when my dad got me a starter guitar and amp.  it wasn’t much, but at the time it was the coolest thing ever.  that guitar was sweet.  the first song i learned how to play was stairway to heaven, how trite huh?  i never really looked back.  i have been playing ever since and couldn’t ever imagine myself not playing. 

thank you everyone for participating and making this series possible.  i hope you had as much fun as i did.

you ready to go at this thing again? i am. lets start.

justin whatley asks:

who is the worst (popular) musicians/band? i don’t even know where to being on this question. there are so many categories of music and even more sub-categories within to make sucky things happen. for instanc, one might argue that nickelback is the worst - based solely upon the fact that every song they write could actually be the exact same song they wrote last time, just change the lyrics and guitar solo around a bit. others may say that blink 182 did a great job on capturing teenage angst in the punk/pop world, while i say they were whiny little girls. i think the important thing to remember is that music has changed so much over the last 20 years. today, all “rock” bands sound the same. they all write about the same stuff. i think a band like thrice, for example, is exactly what more bands need to do. they have just released their 6th album. now i have been a fan of them since their first album, where they were in their punk/thrash stage. if you listen to them with each new record you can really hear their progression and maturity grow as a band. i hate it when i buy a cd of a band i like and then they release their sophomore attempt and it is basically the same as the first. ok. i know i haven’t answered the question yet but i’m getting there. i think it is important to state that all the bands i have mentioned i have once liked. the same goes for the band that has made the number one spot in my mind as the worst (popular) band ever. creed. when they came onto the music scene back in the 90’s they were something really fresh. they had a great sound. there really wasn’t anything like them at the time and i commended them for being what they were. as time passed, scott stapp really showed what a tool he was. their 3rd cd sucked. stapp becamse a breathy, whiny, singer of a man. the best thing that happened to mark tremonti is alter bridge. now they are a good band. its funny to see basically the same exact band, only with a new singer, and see what these musicians are really capable of. i think creed could have been really good for a long time, and when you think about it now they are. only they aren’t creed anymore. oh well. justin, thanks for the great question.

mike d. asks:

why do birds suddenly appear? [hey] every time you are near. well mike, the birds don’t actually “suddenly appear.” in fact, they are there all the time. my awesomeness merely brings them to a level in which other people can see them. i’m basically a tibetan monk. sometimes, birds and squirrels even come and land on my shoulder and scamper across the lawn just to be closer to me. i bring peace to their existence. but don’t get me wrong. when i move into my new house and begin to grow my tomatoes and green peppers, and squirrels eat them, there will be no more peace. i will embody the wrath of “old testament god” and rain down pain on their little bodies. don’t mess with my garden.

tabbybottoms asks:

why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? tabby, based on my minutes of scientific research i have determined that the reason for this is because bubbles are satan’s minions. fact: bubbles pop. fact: bubble keep kids entertained for hours. fact: satan likes popping things (like hope and dreams). fact: satan likes taking the innocent youth and entering their lives during idle times. i know you think that your bubble bath makes you feel all clean and relaxed, but heed my warning child. don’t let yourself get sucked into the sin that is a bubble. plus, nothing that is iridescent can be completely wholesome. why are dandelions considered weeds when daisies are considered flowers? simple. dandelions are from the devil and daisies are from god. bet you didn’t know that spiritual warfare ventured into the realm of botany did you? what made you fall in love with emily? she is a musician. she is very loving (some may say she cares too much sometimes). she is a challenge. she is good for me. what are the top 5 things you’d like to accomplish in the near future? 1) successfully move in/paint/landscape/clean our new house 2) get my small business license and produce clientèle as a free lance graphic designer 3) become a popular enough website to start selling advertising space 4) consistently talk to 5 new people each week at church (i’m pretty bad about not talking to anyone. i need to be more intentional in the relationships i build) 5) go to europe

well gang. thanks again for the great questions. it looks like i’m all out of things to respond to, so unless you guys ask some more the series will be over, and then i’ll have to go back to actually thinking of things to write about. its been fun.

alright gang. here’s a further look into the void that is my mind. you asked questions. i provide answers. this is as real as it gets.  questions are in white, answers are in some shade of faded red.

kfj asks:

how does it feel to lose at rook to a couple of girls? alright kfj. we have to lose every now and then. if we dominated you every game then you would lose your spirits about it and never want to play again. just remember, though, when you beat your husband you end up going to bed with the loser. i hope you can live with that.

emily asks:

why do you always copy me? its merely a matter of you having a good idea and me wanting to make it a great idea. why recreate the wheel when you can just improve its design? what’s your fascination with interior decorating? emily, there is no fascination. i just don’t want to live in a house for 4-6 years in which i feel the walls are a hideous color. i have to look at them too. where do babies come from? good question. you know that thing we do late at night after puma goes to sleep? that’s where babies come from. why do you love me? i love you because you balance me out and you are wicked hot. there is much much more to this answer but i don’t want to waste space on my page. how do you feel about our dog? puma is pretty much the best dog ever. she needs a hair cut. her breath smells like her butt (i can only assume this since i have not stuck my nose in that area). how do you feel about sextuplets? i think if that were to ever happen to us i’d become very wealthy. keep one and sell the other five on the baby black market. are you super excited about moving to a new city? no. not really. i am glad to have a new house though. i will have to learn where everything is in this new town. when is the last time you did something for yourself? i went fishing last friday. it was nice. what’s your favorite thing that i cook? i’m a pretty big fan of the beef burgundy. you can eat and get drunk all in one meal! when are you going to shave your beard? my beard is awesome. i went clean shaven for a while upon your request. i think its time to let the mountain man back out. can we sell the bowflex? i will answer this question by asking one in return. can we sell puma? do you have any secret talents? i only know about the talents that aren’t a secret. if i do, these talents sure know how to keep their mouths shut. can you tell what show i was watching when i asked you these questions? john and kate plus 8.

jenna asks:

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 8,319. on a good day. am i making that number up or did i really count? you tell me. when are we going to see some little monts de ocas? whenever god decides to unleash his sense of humor upon us. have you ever had hemorrhoids? first of all, jenna, i fixed the spelling for you. secondly, no…no i haven’t. i try to let things come out naturally without straining. thus far it has kept me hemorrhoid free. in 6th grade you did you really like better - matt or ryan? ok jenna. that question doesn’t even make grammatical sense. there are too many pronouns in there. i don’t like boys. whatever happened to ivy? assuming you mean ivy the dog, she still lives at the whatley residence. no offence whatleys - ivy is old and will probably die soon. have you been to dairy queen lately? no but i have been to burger king. do they still make pogs? unfortunately pogs are no longer being manufactured. their timely demise has become a gold mine for collectors and hobbyists alike. there are a number of collectible stores, as well as internet merchandisers that can help you onto the fast tract to pog world.

well guys, thanks for you awesome questions. as of now there will be a part two coming tomorrow. hopefully i’ll have some more questions and we can extend it to a longer series. this is fun.

once again i’m going to do some blog sniping.  emily had a good idea yesterday on her website.  she asked her readers to ask her questions and she would respond to them.  i think i want to do the same.  so ask away.  anything you want.  i’ll let you know what i think. do it.

so i am always telling you what is on my mind and though maybe it would be cool for once to hear what is on your mind. today i will open up my comments page for an open forum that you can take advantage of and tell me, or anyone that reads this, what you think. it can be about absolutely anything. so go ahead. tell me what’s on your mind.

i’m totally stealing this post from my buddy scottie. i’ve always thought about doing something like this but never really got around to it. hopefully this will help calm my curiosity. so here it goes. i have readers in states i’ve never been to or even know anyone in. countries all around the world. i want to know who you guys are. if you read this thing, for any reason, and you don’t know me personally, drop me a line and comment on this post. help settle my inquiring mind.