campfire anthems____________________________burning away

let me set up the scenario.

i’m on my way to work and there is a blue truck tailgating me.  i’m going the speed limit.  there is no need for me to switch lanes, because the other lane is full and there are several cars in front of me that are traveling the appropriate velocity.

the blue truck drives up, almost scraping my rear bumper and then sharply jerks the steering wheel to the right to cut in front of the car in the other lane.  as it passed, the fire-eyed woman glared at me then started weaving in and out of traffic until there was finally no where else for her to go.

as we approached the toll road i watched as she paid her 50 cents and then sped into the distance, becoming merely a speck in my windshield as she drove over the slight hill on the road ahead.  about a mile later i saw the flashing lights.  just how i like my justice - served with red, blue and a uniform.  i felt so liberated of the whole situation.  she got what was coming to her.

now here’s the problem.  that whole story was true accept for the part where the lady in the blue truck got pulled over.  i think that many of you have experienced very similar situations, and maybe even felt the way i did.  she broke the law, and wronged me - and she just gets to go on about her day with no consequences.

how come when people do things that hurt us or that we simply just don’t like, we think that severe consequences should be extended onto that person?  it really made me think of something.  i break god’s laws and wrong him everyday i wake up.  do i receive the consequences for my actions?  most of the time the answer is no, but i will one day stand before the judge and be held accountable for the things i have done or not done.

to tie this all in - sometimes we don’t get what we deserve, and you know what - that’s a good thing.  i’m glad god doesn’t deal me the hand i earned.  maybe we should all learn to love more like him, and give people a little more grace, even if they haven’t earned it.

i guess for now, lady in the blue truck, i won’t get my justice.  i thought that you made me start my day off in a bad mood, but it wasn’t you -it was me.  i hope you have a wonderful day today, but keep an eye out on your drive home.  you just might see the red and blue in your rear-view mirror.

…when i voted this morning they wrote my ballot number next to my name at check in. way to be anonymous and completely objective america.

i think one major issue many christians deal with is the idea of being relevant and authentic. an example i see and hear all the time is “i’m just being myself, which is making me relevant to the culture.” they choose to do things to affect people. that may be true on a small level, but if the actions of being authentic aren’t setting a good example for a particular audience what good are they?

people forget just how relevant jesus really was. he was entirely authentic, never compromising anything about what was the right thing to do (it helps that he was god). at face value, he was relevant to the world…

…but he wasn’t of the world. wow.

once you take the step to accept and practice christianity i think authenticity changes. case in point. when i was in college i would drink and swear and do some things that “made me who i was.” i thought i was being authentic to myself, which in turn must make me relevant to my friends. false. i know now that when i’m around those same people (even though i may still wish to partake in some things) that i can’t be the person i was, the person they were all comfortable with, because i would no longer be authentic. it is absolutely possible to be authentic and relevant without compromising your beliefs.

i don’t know if any of that makes sense. its not an easy topic for me to explain. anyways, i said all of that to make this point. i came across something on a christian store’s website. i understand how it is important to make christianity relevant to our culture, but i think sometimes we can take it too far. i’m not saying that this product is bad in any way, i just think its a little absurd. if you do choose to click and watch this video make sure you pay attention to the “actors” in it and see how authentic you think they are being. what kind of example are they setting for their audience?

i was watching the news to stay updated on tropical storm fay and saw an interesting statistic.  meteorologists on bay news 9 only gave today a 70% chance of rain.  there is a giant tropical storm spiraling straight through florida and we only get a 70% chance of rain?  i guess everyone needs a way out.  bay news 9: making tampa bay proud since 1997.

::disclaimer:: this will be the post that gets me into trouble.

i am sick and tired of people, mainly christians, dumping on barack obama. i’m not saying i support the man, but i think its absurd for all these chain letters going around through e-mail saying he is the anti-christ. have you seen these things? this is another one i got in my inbox this morning:

_THIS WILL MAKE YOU RE-THINK :_

A Trivia question in Sunday School :

How long is the beast allowed to have authority in Revelations ?

Guess the Answer?

Revelations Chapter 13, verse 5, tells us it is 42 months, and you know what
that is.

Almost a four-year term to a Presidency. All I can say is Lord Have
Mercy on us.

According to The Book of Revelations the anti-Christ is:
The anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40’s, of MUSLIM descent, who
will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE
Christ-like appeal… he prophecy says that people will flock to him
and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in
power, will destroy everything .

Is it OBAMA?? I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to repost this as
many times as you can! Each opportunity that you have to send it to
a friend or media outlet, do it!

I refuse to take a chance on this unknown candidate who came out of
nowhere.

give me a break. the first thing that makes me upset is maybe not the obvious thing to some of you. we have gone and stereotyped this man as being a bad person because he has ties to a muslim descent. let me be the first to say, not all muslims do car bombing or fly airplanes into buildings. secondly, if obama is the anti-christ, what good would it do for christians to rally up against him? seriously guys, have you thought about that at all? scripture states that the anti-christ will reign over the earth. so if i’m interpreting that correctly, that means that if obama is the anti-christ, he’s probably going to be president whether you like it or not.  you are not all going to rally together and change the will of god.  its not going to happen.

i’ve got to wrap this thing up before my blood pressure peaks. all i’m saying is think about things, use a little logic and help me have one less e-mail to delete each day.

i saw a commercial yesterday that really bothered me. every few months or so you see one of those commercials for a commemorative coin or a collectible trinket, which serves absolutely no purchase and has absolutely no street value. well, i saw a commercial yesterday for just such a tender. usually these things don’t bother me. if you want to waste your money on a special issue statue of liberty 50 cent piece, go nuts. this newly issued commemorative piece, however, really got me thinking. if you haven’t seen it on television yet this commercial is for a special september 11th 20 dollar bill. on one side it shows the old twin towers and the number 20. on the other, it shows the image of the newly designed towers and the numbers 9 and 11, which add up to 20.

now, my problem has nothing to do with it being about 9/11, or the fact that its $20 that you can’t actually spend. no, my problem comes with the idea that a group of people, government sanctioned people, have taken a tragedy and exploited it to make a buck. i can’t imagine the profit that will be made from these dollars. i wonder how much of the profit, gained from such exploitation, will be used to pay off the national debt. i wonder how much of the profit will be donated to the victims family. i wonder how much of the profit will be used in the construction of the new towers in new york city. i wonder how much of the profit will be used to help improve national security.

my guess is none. just another way to make a quick profit. to all you .999 silver $20 commemorative september 11 dollar makers out there: if i’m wrong about all of this, i offer my sincerest apology. in fact, i hope i am wrong. if i’m right…shame on you.

if you live in florida, especially central florida, you hear it every day. you see it on the news. you read about it in the newspaper. i know that in polk county, where i live, this is a huge epidemic. what i’m talking about is the fact that the government, whether its local or state, is cutting back funding for schools, which limits the number of teachers on staff as well as the overall learning environment. i watch every day as my very smart, very capable, college educated friends struggle to find teaching jobs. i also know that the polk county school board has put a hold on hiring new teachers and substitute teachers at most schools within the county.

here we go. i’m driving around in lakeland today. because of the part of town i’m in i happen to take the road by lakeland high school/harrison arts center, which is the high school i went to way back when. because i know that the school board is cutting back on teachers and probably not paying the ones they have a deserved salary, i found it odd that they were in the middle of quite a large construction project. i just don’t get that. if the school board has budget cuts, why not dump money into teachers and education rather than a pretty new parking lot? tax payer’s money well spent i say. kudos polk county. kudos.

last night emily and i went over to the thompson residence to watch the office as we always do on thursday nights. the usual crew was there. james, travis, emily marion, kfj, and the ambers (thats our name for amber and lauren). the only person missing was gabe. i think he had some lame excuse for not being there…something about working. gabe, at least tell me you are washing your hair or changing guitar strings. so the office was really good last night. i’m starting to get into it a little more and learning about what makes the characters funny. once show was over the crowd thinned out a little bit and the real conversation began. i was talking about my goatee and how i was going to grow a big thick hairy mess on my chin, like that guy sundance from american idol last year. everyone swore that there was now way his name could be sundance. i now had a personal mission/vendetta against those in question and had to prove that i was correct (i’m not competitive at all). after a quick google search, i claimed my status as goatee aficionado and moved on to the next subject.

after a bit, kfj went to bed, because she is a nurse and had to get up early this morning. travis scared emily just around this point, when we started discussing our fishing trip for next friday night. we are going to do a little night fishing just outside of englewood. trav started talking about that when he is at the hem of natures pant legs, those surrounding him will be in danger at some point. emily did not like this. apparently travis has been known to sink boats and/or set them on fire. i told him i was a strong swimmer. i hope i don’t have to prove it.

::new thought::

do you have the kind of friends that you just can’t break away from? let me explain what i mean. i have a friend that is like this, but they will be left unnamed. anyways, this person loves to talk. it doesn’t matter what the subject is. that’s cool. i can usually hold a conversation about anything, or i can at least fake it. i finally figured out the key to this person’s “not letting you leave” success. just so i can stop using the phrase this person, we will refer to them now as filbert. so filbert would engage me in conversation. when emily or i made the call to go home to sleep, filbert switched his attention to emily, engaging her in a completely new but equally random thought. this could go on and on, until you pick up on the technique. back to last night.

coleman the wonder dog was laying curled up on the couch across the living room from where i was sitting. he was so cute and peaceful, just laying there in his coat of slightly graying black fur. then, without notice, coleman sprung up and snatched at mosquito out of mid air and ate it. this technique reminded me slightly of a king cobra attacking the flute of an indian man on the street. what one might call a “snake charmer.” it was incredible. i think it may have changed my life.

you know what i hate? homeless people. i know that sounds so awful and unchristian like, but its true. let me explain once again. i know that some people have it rough, i’m not talking about them.  i speak of the pan handlers that can work a drive thru or the cashier’s station at a 7 eleven. quit standing on the corner with your sign that says you are a veteran and finish the phrase with god bless you. the reason this bothers me is because sometimes, if you catch them at the perfect time, you can watch these people get into their cars and drive away. its sort of like the people that claim to be homeless and in need, but have a cleanly shaven , just out of the shower face. i almost always refuse to give these people money. i will, however, give them a sandwich…just to see the disappointment in their eyes, due to it not being a bottle of alcoholic liquid. another thing i really hate is being approached by these people. they all use some variation of the same story.

hey man. my car is right over there and i don’t have any gas. my wife is pregnant and i need to get her home so she can rest. oh, did i mention that i don’t even live in this city? i have to drive 30 miles from here. just give me a couple of bucks so i can fill up my car and take my girlfriend and newborn home.

did you notice how mid story the lies changed. i think sometimes these people don’t even have their lines scripted out. you know what i’d rather hear than sob stories like these? well i’ll tell you.

h…hey buddy. listen. i just got out of jail. do you think you could spare a couple of bucks? i wanna get a six pack and some cigarettes to celebrate my first night as a free man again.

at this point, i open my wallet and give the guy a 10 spot. that’s really all i’m looking for, some gut level honesty. i already know what you are going to do with my money. don’t try to fool me and we’ll be cool. my lovely wife, emily, doesn’t agree with me. seriously, you are about to enter the twilight zone that is her mind. when approached by these people, she automatically thinks that god is sending an angel down to test her. and for all i know, this could be the case. by the way, emily is a much better person than i am. she told me this story from tuesday night. she said that when she was picking up guin, our friend’s daughter that we watch on tuesdays, this creepy, slightly threatening man followed them and then approached her. she handled it just like any good christian should. she helped him solve his problem, whatever it was. she quoted a verse from matthew about how jesus said whatever you do to the least of man you do to me. if i were in this situation, being tested by god, and he put a bum/angel in my path and there ended up being a tense situation, i would probably beat the poo out of this bum/angel. sorry jesus. i’m not very good at tests. in all reality, this is a scary place we live in and i’m not about to ask questions first, especially if someone in my presence is in danger. i’m going to get so much crap for this, but….i think when put to the test, like that in which i was describing, its better to be alive and ask for redemption later than to ask questions first and wind up dead.

i’m really glad its the weekend. i’m leaving work early today to go to frostproof for a rehearsal dinner. emily and i are playing and singing in a wedding tomorrow. it should be interesting. pray for our sanity, mainly because i hate weddings. anyways. now that you have had a deep and scary look inside my brain, i will leave you with this thought. what’s the deal with raisins? wouldn’t you rather just eat the grape before it got all gross? ok, bye!

i didn’t really know that this is possible. i knew that people could have bad breath, but through their nose? really? let me explain. i walked into an in and out barber shop last night after work to get my hair cut. this establishment will remain nameless, as will the associate who clipped my hair. there was no wait. i walked in, gave them my name, and took a seat in the black faux leather chair. number six on the sides. faux hawk on top. easy enough. this little old lady was cutting my hair. everything was going well until she began to breath in my general direction. not through her mouth.

i almost threw up in the chair. her nose breath reeked of the last cigarette break she took, which apparently she also had a make out session with my dog. i didn’t know what to do. i thought about holding my breath, but that may have been obvious, not to mention my lung capacity couldn’t hold up with 15 minutes without oxygen. i entertained the idea of breathing through my mouth. at this thought, however, i realized that with such a raucous odor in my presence that i would rather smell it rather than taste it. i sat there, enveloped with stale cigarettes that have festered in this woman’s depth. when it was all over, i must say that she cut a mean head of hair. i must also say that i will be avoiding this cosmetology breath demon the next time i get shaggy.

after my 13 hour night of sleep has worn off a couple days later, i have decided that the united states, the land of opportunity, should take a few notes from nations around the world.  i’m more or less talking about spain.  after lunch, i think that it should be allowed to take an additional hour for a siesta.  do you know how much more productive americans would be with a post lunch power nap?  i’m just guessing its a bunch more productive.  probably something like 125.00425% more in the production factor, based on my simple notes statistical analysis.  i say down with work.  ¡viva la siesta!